So who would've thought it, but this twisted ball of anxiety is growing a human. Scary eh? I feel it necessary to add that I am at the statistically average age for first time pregnancies. Told you I am just a bit of a twist off of being completely average. Anyways, being the anxiety ridden crazy person that I am, of course being pregnant has only made me even more anxiety ridden and crazy. I pretty much think about how I am screwing up being pregnant or what I am doing and if it is “right” or “normal” about 90% of my waking day. With that in mind, I thought I would start creating a kind of string of related posts called “Pregnant Thoughts” that would just be quick posts (or long depending on how much I ramble) about thoughts, feelings, and experiences I am having for the next few months. Being that I still am who I am, I am sure the themes of anxiety and autism still going to play heavily in these thoughts and posts. Things like people asking me “are you afraid your baby will have autism because it is in your family?” Or my revolving door of worries every time I do something that someone on the internet said I shouldn't be doing or eating or those recurring dreams I have of going into labour at work and not having anyone around to help me. You know normal (crazy people) stuff like that. I hope to write them whenever the mood strikes or something significant happens so that we can share in this roller coaster of an experience together. Sound at all interesting? I hope so, or else I am just writing them to make myself feel better which is good enough in the long run. Look for the first one soon and then sporadically after. If you have followed this blog at all you will know how extremely inconsistent my posting habits are and I don’t imagine being pregnant or a new mom will ever make that better (or that after the baby does come if I ever will post again. I would like to think I will but I hear all you veteran moms laughing at the thought that I will ever find time. Quiet down now you and let me dream.)
In the end I thank you from the bottom of my twisty heart for taking part in this journey of life I have been living thus far and for your continued support as it gets even more interesting from here on out.
Sincerely
The twisted average girl with a baby in her belly